Caught a ride from the Motel 6 to Barnstable Municipal Airport. As the nice woman at Hertz handed me the keys to the rental, she said, "It's the white Mustang." I laughed, thinking she must be kidding. Weren't all rental cars dark green, tiny, lima-bean-shaped things? But indeed, gleaming in the sun, was a brand-spankin' new white Mustang with spoiler on the back and a huge bumper sticker that said, "I'M HAVING A MID-LIFE CRISIS." OK, it didn't really have a bumper sticker, but I do believe I was an object of pity as I drove away: Does she really think this is the way to capture her lost youth? (Or anyone else's lost youth, not to put too fine a point on it...)
The route south took me through Fall River, MA, a town I've wanted to see forever. (Or more likely, as Jolene pointed out, since I saw Elizabeth Montgomery in the 1975 made-for-TV-movie, "The Legend of Lizzie Borden.") As I drove into town, I looked for signs that I was in the right place ("Welcome to Fall River: More Than Just Murder!") ("Fall River: You'll Have a Whackin' Good Time") ("Fall River: More Than You Could Ax For!") (OK, I'm done now.) But no. Not a single sign referencing one of the most famous crimes in American history.
Fall River was an important textile manufacturing and distribution center in the 1800s. The massive brick factories that line the river now have been converted -- seemingly without any sense of irony -- into factory outlets. I decided to stop in at one and get directions. I just happened to do a little shopping while I was there. As I was checking out, I asked the clerk where Lizzie's house was. He said he had heard of her. In fact, said he did a paper on her in the eighth grade. But no, he had no idea where her house was. I asked him to point me toward the oldest part of town and he suggested "The Highlands." I drove around the Highlands for a while without a clue until I stumbled across the Fall River Historical Society. The only unlocked door lead to the Museum Gift Shop where I asked for directions to "the Borden House." The clerk paused, "Lizzie Borden?" And then when she realized what she'd said, laughed. "Like there are any other Bordens." It turns out that the Historical Society owns the world's largest collection of Lizzie memorabilia, including -- of course -- the ax, the skulls of both victims, and all other evidence produced at the trial. Unfortunately (can you guess?) the Lizzie collection was closed for the season. Instead, I walked to the house where the murders took place. The only sign was a computer generated 8-1/2x11 sheet of paper taped to the side of the building, saying "Tickets Next Door." Next door, another piece of paper said, "Closed for the season." I looked at the outside of the house, then walked back to my car.
A mere six hours later, I arrived in Basking Ridge, New Jersey, at the home of Martha T. and Lavonne W. Lavonne and Jolene (who was also a guest for the weekend) went to school with my friend Lynn before and after I went to school with her. (They had her for grade school and college. I had her for high school.) On this tenuous connection and nothing more ("Gee, we hope she's not a serial killer!") they invited me to spend the Thanksgiving holiday weekend with them.
Let's start with the house: a) it was indoors; b) it had heat and plumbing; c) my SUITE was larger than most airports. About 10 years ago, Martha and Lavonne bought this cute little cape-cod on three hillside acres and WENT CRAZY. They started adding wings and knocking out ceilings and building decks, garages, sun rooms, kitchens, maids quarters, lofts, guest bedrooms, etc. (They claim they've stopped building, but I'm not sure I believe it.) The result is a FREAKISHLY HUGE -- and absolutely delightful -- home.
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